The daisy closes her petals and waits for the sun to return.
All this honesty stuff is great and all, but I can’t let the last post sit at the top for long. I don’t mind it being there, but I need to cover it over a little. That can’t be the first thing people see.
I’m working on a new story, anyway. I’m devising something devious. I’m stealing creativity from the hive mind and taking advantage of swarm intelligence.
I feel way more sad than I thought I would. I don’t think it’s true that sadness makes you more creative, unfortunately. It definitely gives me access to different ideas but misery demotivates me a bit. And motivation is extremely important. Intrinsic motivation comes from within; it’s what personally interests you and inspires you to express yourself regardless of external validation. Extrinsic motivation is stuff like wages and deadlines and wanting to please your observer – do they really think this is good? The first is more important than the second but they’re very intertwined because all those outside influences have an effect on the internal ones. Reward might make you work a bit harder, while lack of approval might make you lose interest.
We’re all creative though. Even you, who reads the words but never writes any. And we’re more creative when we work together, which is pretty annoying when I prefer being on my own. If you hide yourself away, then how will you discover new ideas or find out whether the ones you had were really any good? The most important creative relationships you will find are the ones with people who you can learn from and the ones with people who can evaluate how well you’re doing.
Everyone else is a target.
My emotions don’t motivate me, regardless of whether I’m sad or happy. What does keep me going when I feel awful is that I know it’ll make a good story eventually, so I look through old memories and it starts to come together.
So many questions and so many things I want to say to you. I ruin everything and I’m sick of it.
I’m half-crazy and you’re good as gold.