[Pre]text messages

Because it gives us something to talk about.

Because I want to make you feel like a god.

Because I bottle everything up or express the wrong emotion, and I carry feelings with me that have nowhere else to go. Shouldn’t every feeling be offered a chance at expression? But the moments have passed; all I can do is create new moments and overlay these old emotions like a vintage filter on a recent photograph.

Because for every high, there must be a low – and this is the quickest way back to the top.

Because other people know what I mean, even if they hadn’t realised it before.

Because I don’t want to live it for real again. I just can’t avoid it completely.

Because I can.

Because the urge is terrible and irresistible.

Because other people need to understand.

Because sometimes it’s the only way to fix things, even though it carries risks of its own.

Because it’s therapy for myself, and anyone else who happens to read it at the exact point in time they were supposed to.

Because it helps me to figure myself out, with every word I write.

Because nobody ever really listened to me before.

Because it’s sweet revenge.

Because it’s all I know.

Because it distracts me from thinking things I shouldn’t.

Because I want someone to one day feel the same way about me as I do my favourite writers.

Because I have to.

Because it makes me feel free.

Because some day it might be important.

Because I’m creating history.

Because I want us to stay here forever.

Because it’s the only way I can communicate authentically, truthfully and beautifully.

Because I can say things nobody else can, in a way nobody else can say them.

Because you seem to appreciate it.

Because my thoughts keep me awake until I put them down on paper.

Because it transcends anything I could ever vocalise.

Because it’s my safest addiction.

Because if the birds can sing for nobody in particular, then so can I.

Because I can be in control of this.

Because I want you to hear me.

Because I want you to love me.

Because I want you to remember me.

Because you want me to.

Because I want to.

Just because.


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