Uninterrupted fallout

I was on the brink of
…something.
I don’t know what it was
but I was so close.

Overnight, everything changed.

That’s not to say that I had some wonderful revelation, however.
I just had to grow up very quickly.
And I wasn’t ready.
And I panicked.

If I could change it all, I would.
I wouldn’t have let you in.
I wouldn’t have let you take over.
You don’t care about me;
you’re relentless and remorseless.
I thought I was in control,
but I had no control at all.

I have no faith left in the future
yet I wake each day with the perpetual optimism
of the idiot who fails to realise their stupidity.

Now,
this is nothing more than a terrible interpretation of
lyrics that are stuck in my head
of the songs that say it better
than I ever could.

The soundtrack of my life
is a mistake mixtape that plays on an endless loop,
the words are written down over and over again
in notebooks that are locked away from prying eyes.

You see,
I was on the brink of
…something
and I might never know what it was
but I was so close.

I let you interrupt me.
You remain,
uninterrupted.

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